The Red and Black

Issue date: 11/9/01 Section: Opinions

No matter who wins, the best thing about this weekend's game is that it's not in Auburn, the lousiest village on the plains. I hate your town.

Depending on the wind, it smells like either Southpaw or cow. You can't sleep without hearing a car horn play, "Dixie." You always feel like you're two seconds away from fighting somebody.

Maybe I'm giving Auburn too much credit. After all, blink and you've missed it.

Athens must seem like paradise to an Auburn student. I hope you all come Saturday just to experience what a college town is supposed to be like.

Y'all should be happy to leave Auburn, if only for a weekend. It's a hellhole littered by racist frat boys who dress like Klansmen and have mock lynchings for fun. I haven't decided yet if that little tale is completely horrifying or just plain sad, but it fed a lot of negative stereotypes about the state of Alabama.

I should know. I'm from there. Born and raised a die-hard Crimson Tide fan in Birmingham, I have a groomed hatred for Auburn.

I've lost sight of a sister, a high school sweetheart and several of my closest friends who vanished into the smelly sinkhole in lower Alabama.

It's better here, I promise. Georgia is twice the state Alabama is, what with the paved interstates and all.

Athens is everything Auburn will never be. We've got more than two bars! Amazing isn't it?

For you Tigers who still don't believe me, Widespread Panic is from here. Is there any better way to interest a group of Auburn students than to mention the holy WSP? You know what? They were cool here first.

Auburn deserves credit for one thing. It's a serious football town, or at least it used to be. The younger generation seems more concerned with Ritalin, backward hats, SUVs and violence.

Tiger fans don't have class anymore. After all, Sanford Stadium has no cheesy PA system blaring "Eye of the Tiger."

Georgia doesn't need a crowd meter. It's all about tradition here. But I guess it's difficult to be distinguished when you're playing in "The Jungle."

A girl I encountered outside Jordan Hare last season best represented the Auburn attitude. "Who whipped the Dogs ass? Ha, ha, ha," she sneered (after Auburn snuck by in overtime).

I sincerely hope she's here Saturday when the Bulldogs get sweet revenge.

I want this game bad, and I'm not alone.

Be warned Tigers. This year the Bulldogs are ready. No more predictable play calling. No more not showing up until halftime. Georgia will be ready to play.

These Dogs have bite, and Auburn has it coming.

How in the hell did Auburn beat Florida? I still don't understand. The Syracuse game can be written off because the Baltimore Ravens would have had a tough time playing in New York on that particular weekend.

But since Syracuse, all of Auburn's wins were a play or two away from being losses.

And then Arkansas, following a near-loss to Louisiana Tech?

Looks like Auburn left its best on the field against the Gators.

I know some of you Auburn types have illusions of celebrating an SEC championship in the Georgia Dome. I've got news. That won't happen.

Tuberville is an excellent coach, but the best thing Daniel Cobb ever gives Auburn will be Rudi Johnson.

The Tigers may go to Atlanta, and they'll probably beat Alabama. But Auburn will not beat Georgia. The Bulldogs are better. They've been better for years, and now Georgia has a coach that has brought it all together.

This should be no surprise. Everything else here is better too.

-- Gentry Estes is sports editor for The Red & Black.

Page 1 of 1

Article Tools