The Red and Black

Issue date: 11/29/07 Section: Out & About

CHUCK GRIFFIN

I need sedatives every time I hear about how "awesome" the Athens music scene is.

Too many people and too many papers praise our small town for its strong musical culture, so I thought I'd take a slightly different approach. How can I put this? Today's local bands suck.

In order to describe the average local band, let's just make one up. We'll just call this new band Derp.

Derp is a bluesy, folk-ish rock group and somehow dresses for the part. It's been touring the South this past year, and every time the band comes on stage, the singer makes a cute little speech about its new "independent" album.

So the members of Derp open with their first song, starting with a 3-note bass line and a few changeless chords. Harmonies are simple and dynamics stay the same, but for some reason the overzealous drummer acts like his slick, catchy beat has never been tried before.

"I think I hear the same music coming from somewhere else," you say to yourself. "Wait, it's probably just that punk rockish, new wave-ish, electro pop band next door."

You start at Georgia Theatre, but by the time you hit Tasty World, it becomes clear - the average band in Athens today couldn't care less about actual music.

And why should they? As long as their sound is branded with a "totally unique" genre like "electro-folk pop" or "techno funk bluegrass," they can fool everyone into thinking they're fresh and innovative.

Here's something to keep in mind before going to a show: those guys didn't end up at your local venue because they worked their way to the top. They're not there because their "special" sound caught someone's attention.

The only reason they're on that stage is because the owner needed someone to blast noise so customers will keep buying drinks until last call comes around. But nonetheless, they hear the applause and say to each other, "we've made it - we're a real band now."

The roar of the crowd actually meant something when Muddy Waters held the stage. Today, an applause just means you've provided sufficient entertainment for the evening.

Athens is one of the most active small towns in the country. The city's unlimited avenues for entertainment are why we have Out & About. But music, despite what society may tell you, has nothing to do with entertainment.

A lot of bands base their musical success on publicity and the release of their latest album. Then they turn to us and say the false phrase Frank Zappa never even bothered to utter: "It's all about the music."

With that in mind, here are a few tips for keeping things on the right track in the Athens music scene.

Band tip #1: Next time you throw an album release party, just remember that recording technology does not equal music. "We started making records and flying airplanes about the same time," Levon Helm (drums) of The Band once said.

Band tip #2: Stop being self-conscious about your reputation, cancel your MySpace Music account and start actually using your imagination for once.

Amidst a culture driven by image and fame, let me reiterate the definition of what music is supposed to be.

Music is organized sound. It needs a heart to love and a brain to appreciate. And when music loses a response from either of these bodily organs, it merely becomes a noisy, useless entertaining gimmick.

Band tip #3: If you're on stage simply to entertain, just drop the instrument and join the circus. Some would rather go deaf than give you the benefit of the doubt.

Now before I finish, let me tell you guys about a genre of music that no band or record label can exploit. It's called "booing."

It might sound a little noisy and incoherent at times, but the boo never loses its spirit. When a band sucks, the audience provides a harmony like none other. A B-note here, an F-sharp there, and how about one of those angelic falsettos from over there in the back?

Now that's music.


- Chuck Griffin is a variety staff writer at The Red & Black. He can be reached at cgriffin@randb.com.

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