The Red and Black

Issue date: 10/14/08 Section: Opinions

NIKONOVICH-KAHN

Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) is fond of saying his life exemplifies the ideals of the American dream, but it is Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin who more accurately shows America really is the land of opportunity. If someone so incompetent and dim-witted as Palin can be the vice president, I believe any American can be anything he or she wants to be.

It's hard not to avert your eyes from the Arizona Sen. John McCain-Palin train wreck. As we Americans witness Palin diluge McCain's presidential candidacy with senseless gibberish, it is difficult not to ask how the campaign managed to find such a ridiculous VP nominee. What was the rubric the selection committee used when it was reviewing potential running mates?

It is glaringly obvious that intellectual superiority was not a top priority for the section committee.

Through a series of interviews, which are wildly entertaining and deeply disturbing, Palin has showed she leaves much to be desired intellectually. This woman seems to barely possess the mental capacity to organize a desk drawer, let alone a country with a tattered economy.

We can't expect a person who thinks geographical proximity equates to foreign policy experience to help lead our country. Palin likes to tout her new-found status as a political maverick, but she seems to be more of a moron.

A firm grasp of the English language is, apparently, also not a requirement to be vice president. Palin has an exceedingly difficult time articulating a cohesive thought.

Though this should not surprise any of us, as we have had to painfully endure President George W. Bush's merciless mangling of the English language for the past seven years. It seems as if Bush personally instructed Palin on how to butcher our language to a point beyond repair.

Also troubling is Palin's backward and self-inflictive logic. Palin has, on more than one occasion, mentioned that McCain is the only presidential nominee to have served in the armed forces. I suppose Palin's logic behind this assertion is to point out that neither Obama nor Biden donned the uniform, though she inevitably ends up reminding the American electorate she herself never served.

This comes across as a bit odd to me, as Palin herself has made it abundantly clear she is no stranger to handling a gun. I suppose she would prefer to spend her time along the frontier shooting innocent wildlife instead of terrorists. At least there she can keep a watchful eye on those sneaky Russians.

The caboose of Palin's train of incongruous thought is her reluctance to embrace gay marriage. This is a woman who would sooner champion a marriage between a pregnant teenager and her high school sweetheart than one between two women who have been in a relationship for 30 years.

It seems as though the McCain campaign made a concerted effort to find an individual who is a far cry from intelligent and logical.

The only criteria the search committee used seems to have been (relative) youth and good looks. If those are the only two requirements, why stop at Palin? Why not cause a real sensation and choose Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton?

- Zach Nikonovich-Kahn is a junior from Atlanta majoring in history.

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