The Red and Black

Issue date: 3/20/09 Section: Opinions

SAMANTHA SHELTON

It seems more socially accepted phrases for describing romantic interest are being coined and placed in the everyday vernacular of students, but the definitions are far from universal.

Let's see ... there's "hanging out," "talking" and my personal favorite, "going with the flow."

But in Athens, what constitutes dating?

I acknowledge our socially accepted courting process of dinner and a movie - my issue deals with specifically what defines a "date," and therefore what ascertains "dating."

In the past, no matter what the two parties engaged in on their date, it generally involved spending money in public.

I'm not opposed to this form of dating. As a social person, I enjoy being around people in the public sphere. However, I relish in staying home and watching movies or decreasing my man's ranking on Madden '09 because I can't figure out how to work the PS2 controller.

So, which is a "real date?" The one where the man decreases his disposable income, or the one where no money is being spent? And depending on which route the two lovebirds decide to take, does it directly correlate how serious society views their involvement?

This question was brought to my attention when I was in a casual yet romantic affinity with a guy for a couple of months. We went on one "real date," which included him picking me up and spending money, and a lot of "non-dates," consisting of eating-in, watching movies and just laying around conversing. Now, we both considered this to be "dating," because we were hanging out on a regular basis with shared romantic interest. It wasn't until I talked about him with some girlfriends when I discovered we apparently weren't "really dating because he didn't take me out enough."

Wow, really? So that's what identifies the connection between two people - several dinners and two tanks of gas?

I don't believe there is an official definition for "dating" or what a date entails.

Bottom line: you both have to feel some form of the fuzzy, butterfly feeling to label consecutive events as dating.

It's my personal belief that money and public outings don't establish or justify romantic attraction, the key ingredient for dating. If you're one of the people still residing in a 1950s sock-hop mindset, requiring all potential companions to drain their savings to classify your trysts as "really dating," I just want to inform you it's 2009. Welcome to the new millennium!

If the guy you like picks you up and treats you to dinner every night of the week ... good for you.

But don't characterize this particular form of dating as the only real thing. Because candlelight dinners at home are sweet, so is sharing a slice of cheesecake at Harry Bissett's.

Just don't assume the $200 bill exemplifies your dedication more effectively than the couple cuddled up on the couch watching "Boondock Saints."

- Samantha Shelton is a junior from Auburn majoring in newspapers. Although she enjoys being wined and dined, she doesn't believe the guy MUST spend money to really date.