Spring Break
Sex in the Classic City: Consider yourself single? Check again
SAMANTHA SHELTON
Issue date: 4/10/09 Section: Opinions
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But does that make me single? No.
Sure, that's what my Facebook says and it's the box I check on my W-2, but since "single" and "alone" are synonyms, I'm going to throw it out there that no one is ever really "single."
The only thing that differentiates a relationship from a friendship is romantic interest. But how much of the googly-eyed attraction actually structures what a boyfriend or girlfriend offers you? Think about the activities lovebirds engage in versus what you do with the platonic people in your life.
When the new thriller hits the theaters, I see it with my best friend. Sure, she can't bench 350, but we huddle up and scream when the heroine gets an ax through her face. She is always there for me, supplying support to get me over any hurdle that presents itself. When I need someone to talk to, she's at my apartment in 15 minutes or less.
We go to dinner, frequent downtown, basically do everything I would with a boyfriend except for ... you know. My best friend is engaged, so when a romantic interest does pop up in my world, she offers a perspective that I can't, which is always a blessing when it comes to advice.
At 3:15 every weekday, I expect a call. Not from the guy I'm dating, but my sister. We fill each other in on how our days went and our plans for the evening. You might be thinking that's pretty boring, which is fine. But I'd like you to think about the first five minutes of each phone call to your girlfriend or boyfriend ... what do they consist of?
My sister is married, making her an eager audience for the dating life of 21-year-old college student - since I'm meeting some pretty "interesting" guys and she's monogamous with just the one. She had experiences with a few bad apples before she married Mr. Right, dubbing her a symbol of hope every time it doesn't work out for me.
When something bad happens, it's nice to know there is someone who loves you and will be there at 4 a.m., or whenever you need them. A significant other is a great comfort to have when you're not having an easy-go. Although I may not have a boyfriend, I have someone who always will wipe my tears and make me a peanut butter and honey sandwich ... my daddy.
College isn't always smooth sailing. You fail tests, get stood up and sometimes things just simply don't go your way. When the aforementioned happens to me, my daddy is there to listen to my troubles, offer the best advice a divorced man in his 40s can provide his daughter, and crack a joke that brings a smile to my heart.
A simple definition of a "single girl" describes a woman without a man her life. If that's the case, I'm definitely not single. And if one of the key components to a relationship is support, then I have the strongest "relationship" with my father. Since bringing up drama with ex's or break-ups can be an unwelcome topic of discussion between couples, the conversations between my daddy and I exceed any I possibly could have with a boyfriend because I can talk to him about anything. And when my last dating disaster resurfaces and shakes me up, my daddy is the first one to receive a phone call or a tearful, midnight visit.
So, just because you don't have a significant other doesn't mean you're single ... it means you don't have a constant bedtime friend.
And for some people, sex isn't the most important part about companionship. It certainly isn't for me - which is why I recognize that any non-sexual aspect a relationship could possibly provide, I'm already getting, and anything else can be fulfilled with a quick trip to Spencers.
So for anyone out there who won't have a little red heart notification anytime soon, look at the people in your life and realize that the only thing you're really missing out on by being "single" is a guaranteed 15 seconds of pleasure.
- Samantha Shelton is a junior from Auburn majoring in newspapers. So people might say she's filling the boyfriend void with friends and family, but she's not going to date Mr. Wrong to gain a label.
Viewing Comments 1 - 8 of 10
J.
posted 4/10/09 @ 9:01 AM EST
Some words of advice:
A man marries a woman thinking she will never change and she does.
A woman marries a man thinking she can change him and she can't. (Continued…)
RP
posted 4/10/09 @ 9:04 AM EST
For some reason your articles always make me roll my eyes. You seem very self-focused.
Nick
posted 4/10/09 @ 9:17 AM EST
I wish that the Red and Black would stop publishing this column.
buzzkill
posted 4/10/09 @ 9:40 AM EST
a commentary assuring people that "single is ok?" thank god for that. i was beginning to worry that my typical bedtime singularity and lack of facebook relationship status was somehow indicative of a fundamental problem with me. (Continued…)
Liz Lemon
posted 4/10/09 @ 10:50 AM EST
God, I think I'd rather have P.T. Umphress back...
And I HATED P.T. Umphress.
Brittany
posted 4/14/09 @ 11:07 PM EST
I agree completely with you sam. Just cause you dont have a boyfriend doesnt mean you are "single" or "alone". you just gotta look around at the people who surround you, and be thankful that they arent gonna walk away when something else better comes along. (Continued…)
UGA_alumni2003
posted 4/15/09 @ 11:34 AM EST
What you doing friday night? Candle light dinner at the Waffle House?
Michelle
posted 4/15/09 @ 2:27 PM EST
"Single" very specifically refers to martial status. Even if you have a boyfriend you still check "single" on your W-2. I get what you're trying to say, but focusing on the word "single" was not the best approach. (Continued…)
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