The Red and Black

Issue date: 4/13/09 Section: Opinions

JENNIFER PAXTON

The other day while updating my Facebook account, I was torn deciding what I was "looking for" - dating or networking.

Listing both just looks indecisive. I need to be concise.

Following graduation in May, I've decided to brave the rock-bottom economy in the narrow hopes of finding a job. Not helping matters much is a background in newspapers - an industry currently serving as a synonym for "layoffs," "unemployment" and "alcoholism." OK, networking is a must.

But, dating is on the horizon, too. After the brutal conclusion of a long-term relationship months ago, it's probably time to put myself back on the market.

Suddenly, it hit me. Is there a difference between the two - dating and networking?

Do they both not involve carefully constructed pleas of desperation, masked by playing-it-safe lingo?

Think about it - when searching for a job, we send e-mails, cover letters and résumés all with the underlying message of "for the love of God, please hire me."

When seeking a significant other, we plan subtle one-liners and ambiguous text messages just to avoid saying the ever-feared "I like you."

The first date is the job interview, the morning-after phone call is the thank you letter and the walk of shame is like leaving an interview you know you just blew (pun intended).

Of course, one obviously involves the incentive of money and the other sex (if I have to spell out which is which, you may need to reprioritize), but the communication style is all too similar.

In my fantasy world, the trials of waiting, overanalyzing and vague promises would vanish, replaced by companies and men who immediately fess up. Rejections would be quick and only slightly painful. "Dear Jennifer, following our interview with you this morning, we've decided we're just not that into you."

Unfortunately though, game-playing is here to stay. I was born with a blunt tongue and can't simply expect the world to follow suit. Besides, as irritating as anticipation can be, it does make the rare rewards more gratifying.

It doesn't matter which arena we're talking about. If you're single and looking for a job, it's rough out there. But a few lessons can be gathered from each pursuit, hopefully translating smoothly from one department to the other.

First off, don't kill yourself trying to create a spark that clearly isn't there. If they want you, they will make it happen. Two unanswered phone calls means it's time to look elsewhere. At that point, they're aware you want them, and any more prodding is just embarrassing for everyone involved.

Contrastingly, don't keep an offer lingering on the table simply for the appeal of the temporary ego boost. We all hit those low points when we try something out simply due to an apparent lack of other options, but when you realize you're not interested, be honest with the receiving party and move on.

Better yet, keep your eye on the prize and have an idea of what you want to begin with.

I'm not really sure if I'm talking about sex or paychecks anymore, but I think success with either ultimately lies in confidence with yourself. It's all about branding your strengths - it's not what they can do for you, but what you can do for them.

Find something that's unique about you - a trait that's yours and yours alone - and sell it.

And what to do if they don't want it? Next!

- Jennifer Paxton is a senior from Alpharetta majoring in newspapers. She hopes the fact that she's single and unemployed doesn't detract from the value of this advice.

Page 1 of 1

Article Tools