The Red and Black

Issue date: 4/15/09 Section: Opinions

RACHEL BOWERS

On The Clock."

That's just the phrase that brings to mind the lovely annual NFL draft.

Made up of seven rounds, the NFL draft is a two-day process in which professional teams select, secure and sign former college athletes they desire to add to their rosters for the upcoming season.

It occurs every April, and draws more media hoopla than Ocho Cinco's touchdown celebrations.

But this two-day process has evolved into a year-round guessing game that now includes so much unnecessary coverage that it puts the phrase "like white on rice" to shame.

With characters in place such as the greased-up Mel Kiper and the baby-faced Todd McShay, ESPN has set up the perfect medium to get the word out about every college football player we don't care to hear about repeatedly.

OK, we all get it. Helen Keller gets it. The Detroit Lions are horrible at life - as they sit atop the draft with the No. 1 pick and a reprehensible 2008 season to recover from.

But the bottom line is that no one outside the organization will have any say in whether Matthew Stafford or Mark Sanchez will be the next unlucky guy to line up under center with the high hopes that his blind side will be covered (which I can guarantee you it won't be).

No one needs a team of analysts attempting to predict the football future. Kiper and McShay are not adorned with headdresses and don't have any personal crystal balls reflecting Stafford in a Lions uniform.

What happens will transpire on its own regardless of if Kiper is spot on with his prediction or if he takes off his creepy transition lens glasses and cries about how wrong he may be. Todd and Mel, please put the stick down - the horse is dead.

Immediately after the 2008 draft concluded, Kiper and McShay sat in their comfy chairs behind their analyst desks with their Britney Spears microphones flapping their lips about none other than their 2009 draft projections.

Why would you take up other people's oxygen to make predictions about something that wasn't going to take place for another year, and analyze college athletes when there was still a football season that had to be played?

I get that these two guys live and breathe the draft. But I prefer oxygen.

I don't have a company completely dedicated to comprising a draft report each year (like Kiper) and I certainly am not employed by a scouting company where I sit in front of a TV dissecting a 20-year-old's upside and whether or not he'll declare early (like McShay).

But what average Joe actually sits down and carefully reads or even skims Kiper's report?

Probably few, if any.

No average Joe's office is equipped with a satellite that picks up 20 to 25 college football games every week just to be sure who the No. 1 pick will be nine months before the draft starts.

ESPN has let the coverage go so far as to implement a touch screen draft board. Honestly, this is as unnecessary as CNN's hologram technology during its election coverage.

The only thing that gigantic flat screen allows is for these two eggheads to have futile information at their fingertips that they are spitting out like Bill Cowher. There might be a few people who do care, and that's fine. I bet Stafford doesn't care. I know I don't care. Looking back 11 years ago to 1998, Kiper said Ryan Leaf's attitude would give him a mental advantage over Peyton Manning. In 2005, Kiper told Merril Hoge he'd see him at former USC receiver Mike Williams' Hall of Fame induction. Bust, and bust.

Why can't we all just bask in the fact that these young men are fulfilling their childhood dreams? I know their 40-yard dash time matters, as well as their durability, attitude and overall athleticism. But they are pursuing and succeeding at what they love, which few of us are able to do in this lifetime.

Let's celebrate that, not if a player is projected first or 161st.

But it's OK, Mel. Go ahead and show me your 2010 Mock Draft.

I know you've already made one, and have it folded up in your wallet along with the picture of your kids and Joe Flacco's rookie card.

- Rachel Bowers is a sportswriter for The Red & Black.

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