The Red and Black

Issue date: 5/1/09 Section: Opinions

Media Credit: Samantha Shelton Samantha Shelton

Everyone can breathe a big sigh of relief. The semester is over. Which means no more classes, homework or avoiding that ex on North Campus - summer is here.

As I look forward to pool-side activities and trips to Florida, I'm really anticipating new beginnings.

As one school year ends and another begins, more things change than just your course schedule.

The summer is a welcomed buffer between classes and a wonderful opportunity for alacrity, not just of the physical variety.

Sure, some students use the summer to achieve bronzed skin and lose those last few pounds keeping them out of their True Religions. But the kind of expedition I'm referring to is on the emotional level.

After my last final I'll be on a plane headed for Florida for a much needed break.

Upon my return I will look at the two months of swimming and working as a chance to really decide what I want out of my time here.

I'll admit that I don't plan on being single for the duration of my college career - but I don't just want to fall into a spot like I have in the past.

I would like to really think about what I desire in a companion.

Of course I have a general "type," but as far as truly deciding what my best match could be, I guess I've just been too busy to consider what attributes in a guy are a good fit.

After all, with school, a job, friends and family filling the majority of my time, I've settled for convenience and overlooked red flags that could have predicted impending doom.

That guy in class, the one from the gym or my coworker were easily accessible and opportune. But I have learned, after the texts and tears, that there is a reason we didn't work out, and I had ignored that reason the entire time I dated them.

When you see someone every day, whether in class or at work, it's easy to click because there is a very strong commonality between you - but my advice is to recognize when the unity that brought you together is the only thing connecting you.

It might appear like a pretty fool-proof indication to see, but after you add dates and kisses into the equation, the stop sign turns to a yield, and after enough time together, you can't even see it anymore.

But just because the variable cautionary precursor is out of sight, doesn't suggest the obstruction disappears on down the road - it just means it'll shock you more when you hit it.

I'm not saying dating someone from your biology lab, job or building is automatically a bad idea; rather, don't let regular sightings be your only link. I can attest to the simplistic union formed by consistent engagement, but I've had to learn the hard way that it doesn't make a real connection, it makes a convenient one.

When you put a puzzle together, you need all of the pieces present … but it also helps if you have the box. Right now, I have half of the pieces, and somewhere out there, someone has the others. But if we don't have the box to show us the picture, it's unlikely we'll ever be put together.

So while I'm baking under the sun and running electrophoresis on DNA fragments, I also will be considering the type of person that I'm compatible with, ergo, finding the box to my personal relationship puzzle.

We all know that Athens is pretty desolate in the summer; so in the absence of a large dating pool, June and July might be the perfect time to, if you're single, look inside and figure out what makes you happy, and in turn, who could make you happy.

- Samantha Selton is a junior from Auburn majoring in newspapers.

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