The Red and Black

Issue date: 6/18/09 Section: Opinions

BRITTANY COFER [Click to enlarge]

It's that time of year again - when the humidity is high and our hormones are racing.

I'm not sure what it is about summer, but it seems to be the perfect breeding ground for romance. This past spring was the kiss of death for many relationships around me. I ended a two-year relationship and watched as several others parted ways with their partners.

But now that it has been a few months and the Georgia heat is kicking in, it seems love is in the air once more.

Summer romances are tricky though. In my experience, they can sometimes fizzle by August. Summer is this limbo period for relationships, where all the stars align to make you feel in love (or lust) for a few months, then magically when classes start up again, it's gone.

We have more time on our hands and more fun things to do with that time - so why not spend it with someone we enjoy being with?

I've compiled a list of Dos and Don'ts for summer relationships - some from my own experience, some I've taken from friends' experiences (which is which, I'll never tell).

DO:

• Have realistic expectations: Personally, any time I begin a relationship, I always anticipate there being an ending. Maybe I'm just incredibly cynical, but I like to call it being realistic.

If you approach your summer romance from the view of just having fun and enjoying the other person's company, it makes things easier if it does peter out at the end.

• Meet their friends: You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. Meet the person's friends and see if you get along with them.

See if you can imagine yourself hanging out with these people, because if it turns into something serious then you probably will be seeing more of them. If several of the friends are doing shady things behind their significant other's back (cheating, lying, talking badly about them) then chances are your new love interest will do the same.

• Look for red flags: This is something you should do in every relationship. It's always annoying to find out later something you should have realized from the beginning.

Women: if he uses the words "crazy psycho," "bitch," or "slut" to refer to his ex-girlfriends, you can be assured he'll use those same words about you one day - get out while you can.

Men: if she is sneaking peeks at your phone to see who you've been calling or texting after the first week, she's probably got some trust issues. And unless you want to help her through them (a noble thing, but probably pretty difficult) then get out while you can.

DON'T:

• Move too fast: We're young. There is no reason to rush into making the next person you date your future husband or wife. Take things slow and really get to know the person.

Also, don't "give it up" so soon (this goes for both men and women) - I know your hormones are raging and you love/lust/long for the person, but slow down there buddy, you've got plenty of time for all that later.

• Try to change the person: It doesn't work. Period.

• Be someone you're not: You might feel the need to act a certain way to get the love and affection of your summer lover, but resist the temptation to turn into someone you're not.

It only makes the other person feel confused and betrayed when they finally see your real colors. If it's going to turn into anything of substance, the person is going to have to like you for you - flaws and all.

- Brittany Cofer is the managing editor of The Red & Black.

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