The Red and Black

Issue date: 7/17/09 Section: Opinions

SAMANTHA SHELTON

Ah, summertime, such a carefree season. As most students relax by the pool after their summer courses or summer job, some are on the prowl for a little summer lovin'.

I said in my last column I was going to be looking for qualities in which I would want in a companion and thought the best way would be some old-fashioned alone time, but I was wrong ...

After finals I began dating a few guys, nothing serious, nothing exclusive (obviously) ... Hanging out with different types of guys helped me realize what I was looking for and more importantly, what I wasn't. That's when I found him ... my boyfriend.

I've watched tons of sugar-pop teen movies where the girl falls for 'the friend' who was always in the background until the last scene when he appears, saves the day and wins the star's heart.

I never thought I would find myself resembling the heroine in one of these movies ... but here I am, filling the spot of Jennifer Love Hewitt or Julia Stiles.

My now-boyfriend isn't new to my life, rather a friend I've known for a few years. We met at a summer job I worked three years ago and we became friends from late nights at Taco Mac after enduring the days of retail hell.

We began hanging out more frequently at the beginning of the summer, riding the ever-so-seductive friendship/romance line, but I held myself back from completely crossing the border into the dating domain.

I was perfectly honest with all my suitors, telling them, "it wasn't serious and we weren't exclusive." Being single, or what I like to refer to as "boyfriend anorexic," was a title I had every intention of keeping for awhile. But after seeing "The Proposal," I found a feature in Sandra Bullock's successful and single character in myself ...

I wasn't really dating these guys casually because I was trying to find attributes I wanted in a boyfriend. I was avoiding exclusivity because I was scared.

I was burned so badly by the last guy I opened up to that I closed my heart's access valve to prevent myself from another dating dead end. But as the Facebook bumper sticker says, "You build up walls, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to climb over them."

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that everyone has had their heart broken at one time … and for lack of a better phrase, it sucks. Nothing hurts worse than being used, cheated on, or finding out that, in fact, it wasn't them, it was you ... but I have learned not to let fear hold you back from someone truly special.

And I guess that's what dating, love and even sex is all about in the end … a trial and error process that can lead you in two opposite directions. One road makes you deliriously happy, while the other leaves you crying while concocting revenge schemes with your girlfriends over a bucket of Ben & Jerry's.

Everyone has been hurt by dating the wrong person but you shouldn't allow your dating past to affect your future dating possibilities.

When you fall off of a horse you're supposed to dust yourself off and get back on. Well I believe if you were hurt bad enough from the fall, like I was, it's a good idea to avoid horses for awhile until you can ease yourself back into the saddle. Because if you're only thinking about the last fall when you're horse adjacent, you'll never really enjoy the ride … but you should never completely give up on horses, even if you've been bucked off a few times. But of course, I'm a sucker for a Mustang.

- Samantha Shelton is a junior from Auburn majoring in Newspapers and Women's Studies. She believes everyone should give dating a second try, no matter how badly they were hurt.

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